


Cassandra Appreciation Week!

by cassidyrosececilia



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon), Tangled (2010)
Genre: Cassandra Appreciation Week, one shots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:07:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24211078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassidyrosececilia/pseuds/cassidyrosececilia
Summary: Here's a little collection of one-shots for Cassandra Appreciation Week (5/15/2020-5/22/2020), organized by @mxxnsandra on insta. I hope y'all enjoy! Much love <3Day 1: Cassandra's Birthday((Cass and the gang celebrate her birthday.))Day 2: A Rescue((Cass aides a traveler on her journey outside of Corona.))Day 3: The Scroll((Nine year old Cass delivers a scroll to, and contemplates her relationship with Queen Arianna.))Day 4: I'll Shed No Tears((After Once a Handmaiden, Cass reflects on her actions.))Day 5: The Journal((Cass makes good use of her birthday present from Rapunzel.))
Relationships: Cassandra & Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider (Disney), Cassandra & Lance Strongbow, Cassandra & Rapunzel (Disney: Tangled), Cassandra & Varian (Disney: Tangled)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	1. Day 1: Friendship (Or, Cassandra's Birthday)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Cassandra Appreciation Week Day 1! I hope y'all enjoy. Much love <3

Cassandra awoke from her sleep to a persistent tap, tap, tap on her shoulder.

“Cass? Cass, wake up. Come on, wake up!” 

Groaning, Cassandra rolled over, shifting from her usual sleeping position on her stomach to lie on her back. She forced her eyes open and glanced at the clock on her wall--it read seven o’ clock in the morning. Admittedly, she’d usually be up by now or within the next few hours, but her thoughts had kept her up last night, and she hadn’t found slumber until three o’ clock in the morning, when she usually let herself rest at ten or eleven o’ clock. Her eyelids were heavy, her eyes swollen, and her hair a ruffled mess of black bed-head.

“What do you want, Raps? I’m tired.”

“You’re not allowed to be tired!” Rapunzel shook her head, pulling the covers off of Cassandra and throwing them across the room. 

“Hey,” Cassandra growled, instinctively rolling onto her side and drawing her knees in close to her chest. “Come on, Raps, why’d you do that?” 

“Today is a very special day, Cassandra.”

Cassandra paused. It was? She couldn’t quite bring to fruition why today would be different than any other, unless it was another Coronan holiday she’d forgotten about whilst on the road. She’d been on the road for a while, and just recently returned home to relax and rest up a bit. Living on the road, especially on your own, time tended to be but a blur. The days congealed into weeks, the weeks into months, the months into years--honestly, Cassandra would have had no idea how long she’d actually been gone if Rapunzel hadn’t counted the days and announced it upon her return. She was back on somewhat of a visit, and hadn’t decided if she was going to stay and work in Corona or leave once more, but she knew one thing for certain--she had no clue why today was ‘special’. 

“Uhhh...special day?”

“Cassandra.” Rapunzel huffed, shaking her head. Her emerald eyes glimmered with a hint of amusement. “You can’t be serious. Stop joking.” 

“No, Raps, I’m serious. I’m sorry, but whatever Coronan holiday today is, I have no clue. I have no concept of time anymore, honestly.”

Rapunzel clicked her tongue. “I’m glad you’re back then, so that I can remind you.”

“What is it?”

“Cass, it’s October 30th. It’s your twenty-eighth birthday!” 

“Oh.” Cassandra’s cheeks flushed red. “I really forgot my own birthday? Honestly, time on the road was a blur. I wasn’t even really sure if I was twenty-six or twenty-seven...”

“Well, yesterday you were twenty-seven. Today you’re twenty-eight.” 

Cassandra sat up and groaned. “Oh my God, I’m old.” 

Rapunzel shot Cassandra a judgmental glance, and playfully swatted at her shoulder. “Oh, hush.” She paused, a laugh escaping her lips. “Now you know how Eugene feels.” 

“Hey, don’t compare me to Fitzherbert. I’m not thirty yet.” 

“Whatever you say. Are you ready for your special day?”

“Uh, no, honestly. I didn’t know it was my birthday. I’m not...emotionally prepared for whatever craziness you have planned today.” 

Rapunzel let out a faux gasp. “Cass! I have no such craziness planned.”

Cassandra cocked her eyebrow. “Sure you don’t. Besides, who knows if today is even my actual birthday? It’s probably just a random date I gave my dad when he took me in. I was only four, I probably had no concept of my birthday. Anyway, I don’t need, er, a celebration.” 

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous. Yes you do! Besides, today is the day you’ve been celebrating your birthday since Cap took you in. If it doesn’t count as your real birthday, I don’t know what does.”

“Uh, hopefully nothing does. I hate birthdays.”

“Hate birthdays? How could you hate birthdays? I mean, there’s presents, cake, streamers, singing, parties, friends...it’s gonna be a perfect day.”

“Uh, I hate most of those things. Streamers are annoying, parties are annoying, singing is annoying, and presents make me feel like I owe the gifter something in return. Friends and cake are good, I suppose…”

“Well lucky for you, I know you, and I didn’t plan a party, exactly. It’ll just be dinner between me, you, Eugene, Varian, and Lance. Lance is even leaving the girls home so it can be an adult-only gathering. No singing, I promise.” Rapunzel paused. “Except maybe happy birthday? Oh, and there will be rum. And wine. And ale.” 

“Rum and wine and ale?” Cassandra sighed. “Oh, okay, you got me. As long as it’s really just the five of us.” 

“Okay, perfect! Dinner is at seven o’ clock tonight.” 

“Right. So you woke me up twelve hours before...why?”

“Erm…” Rapunzel’s face flushed red. “Because I wanted to see you before I have to work. I missed you, okay? I wanted to give you this, too.” Rapunzel reached into the trusty satchel that Cassandra had gifted her long ago, and pulled out a small black drawstring pouch. “I mean, Eugene and I got you a present for dinner tonight, but here. This is from me.” 

Rapunzel gently passed the black pouch to Cassandra, and Cassandra took the velvety, dark pouch in her hand. Tenderly, Cassandra opened the pouch and reached her fingers inside. Her digits met with a small, cool item, which she wrapped her hand about and pulled out. When she opened her hand, her eyes landed upon a small, black ring with a large purple stone mounted in the center. Circling around the stone were several smaller clear stones, also mounted into the dark black metal of the ring. 

“Wow, Raps. It’s beautiful. Thank you.” Cassandra slid the ring onto her left ring finger. “It fits perfectly, and now creepy men won’t hit on me when I’m back on the road. I love it.”

“Oh, no problem! I made it myself.”

“You what?”

“I know, right?” Rapunzel laughed. “I made it pretty soon after you left. I wanted to have something to give you when you came back, but since you came back so close to your birthday, I decided to wait ‘til today. It actually took, like, five tries. Xavier helped me mold the ring itself. I got the Cassandrium from, well, Varian, and the smaller stones are tiny little diamonds.”

“Diamonds?” Cassandra’s eyes widened. “Raps, this is far too expensive, I can’t--”

“Cass. I’m a princess. I don’t mean to sound braggy, but suffice to say, I want for naught. It’s yours.”  
‘  
“Wow.” Cassandra drew her finger up closer to her face, examining the ring more closely. “Thank you, Raps. I love it.” 

“Of course.” A warm smile spread over Rapunzel’s face. “Well...sadly, I have some duties I have to attend to before dinner tonight, so I’ll let you get back to your slumber.”

“Mmm. Slumber sounds nice.” 

“I bet it does, sleepyhead.” Rapunzel stood up and let out a chuckle. “It’ll be in the main dining hall, after my parents have finished having their dinner, okay?”

“Sounds good. Thanks for not inviting the whole kingdom, Raps.”

“Of course. I’ll see you at seven.”

“See you at seven.”

\--------------------------------------

Before Cassandra knew it, it was six o’ clock at night. She’d slept til a bit past twelve o’ clock noon--extremely late for her, but reasonable, given her lack of sleep the night prior. After she woke up, she spent most of the day alone in her room killing time--she sharpened her weapons, read about half of a novel, and took a brief walk about the castle to kill some time. 

At six forty-five, she began to make her way through the wide, dim, labyrinth-like halls of the castle. To the untrained eye, the castle would be immensely confusing--but Cassandra had grown up here. She knew all of the halls like the back of her hand, the twists and turns ingrained into her mind from youth. Her legs carried her effortlessly to the doors of the grand hall. 

Cassandra was unsure if the King and Queen had finished their meal, and didn’t want to disturb them if they hadn’t. As such, she leaned her back up against the wall next to the door, and began to absentmindedly fiddle with her hands. Her mind was riddled with both anxiety and excitement as she thought of the night to come. Birthdays weren’t her favorite, and parties weren’t exactly her strong suit, but at least this evening would hopefully be more relaxing and drinking with friends. 

Suddenly, the door beside her swung open, and Cassandra fixed her posture. She wasn’t sure if it was the monarchs or Rapunzel, but better safe than sorry. 

“Oh, hello, Cassandra,” called a sweet, melodic voice. “A certain princess informed me that it’s your birthday. Happy birthday, dear.” 

Cassandra turned, her eyes meeting with Queen Arianna’s. She quickly averted her eyes, and engaged in a quick, respectful curtsey. “Thank you, Your Highness,” she smiled, “it means a lot to me.” 

“Of course.” Arianna paused both her speech, and in the doorframe momentarily. “You know, I remember when you were about yea big.” She gestured down towards her side, and a gentle smile spread across her face. “You’re surely all grown-up now. It makes me feel old. How old are you?”

“I’m turning twenty-eight today, Your Highness.” 

“And to think you came to us when you were only four.” She paused for another moment and glanced off, as if thinking, before turning back to address Cass once more. “Well, I’m off, but Rapunzel is waiting for you in there. Frederic has already adjourned, so feel free to make your way in whenever. Enjoy the rest of your night, Cassandra.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty. You as well.” 

Cassandra took a deep breath, analyzing the interaction in her head. She recalled the Queen’s bittersweet fondness towards her as a child, and a pang hit her stomach. She’d always looked forward to running a message to the throne room for her father as a child because she might be there, or running into her in the hallway. There was some sort of strange, unspoken bond and appreciation between them, at least on Cass’ end--that of a mother who’d spent much of her adult life yearning for a daughter, and a daughter who spent most of her childhood yearning for a mother. 

Cassandra shook her head, cleared the thoughts from her mind, and pushed her way in through the tall, dark doors of the throne room. The room was well lit by candlelight in the fading twilight. Rapunzel and Eugene stood by the table, and Lance and Varian were already seated. The table was laid with a fine dinner of roasted chicken, steak, potatoes, and peas. Sat at the center of the table was a modest but beautifully decorated cake, a bottle of rum, a bottle of wine, and a bottle of ale, as well as glasses suited for each. Cass felt a blush spread over her face, flustered that such a celebration was for her. 

“Well, if it isn’t the birthday girl!” Rapunzel moved towards her, and her slender arms wrapped Cassandra in a brief hug. She gestured to the seat at the head of the table, where the King usually sat. “Take a seat.”

Cassandra’s cheeks burned red. “I am not sitting there,” she laughed, “that’d just feel wrong.” 

“Well, then,” Eugene jested, “I’d be glad to take your place. Happy birthday, Cass.” He moved over towards Cassandra, and also wrapped her in a brief hug, before raising his hand in a fist motion. 

“Fitzherbert, don’t even think about giving me birthday punches. I will cut your hands off.” 

“Geez, geez,” Eugene laughed, pulling his fist back. “My hands didn’t survive years as a thief just to be chopped off by the dragon lady.”

“Watch yourself, then.” Cassandra grinned slyly and sat down, with Eugene and Rapunzel following suit. She turned her attention to the other two men at the dinner. “Good to see you two,” she smiled. 

“Happy birthday, Cassie,” Varian smiled. “You’re old.”

“Shut up, kid, don’t remind me.”

“Not as old as me,” Lance interjected. “But soon! Happy birthday.” 

“Thanks for the cheer, guys.” 

“You can always count on us,” Lance winked. 

“Okay, I need a shot,” Cassandra laughed, “someone hit me.”

“Tsk, before dinner, Cass?”

“Oh, yes, Raps. It’s my birthday, remember?”

Lance chuckled and obliged, reaching for a shot glass and the bottle of rum. He poured Cassandra a shot glass and slid it across the table to Cassandra. “Anyone else?”

Eugene raised his hand, followed by Varian, and then a shy Rapunzel. 

“Wow, Raps,” Eugene poked, “you normally stick to your wine.”

“Well…” A slight smile spread over her face. “It’s a special occasion!” 

Lance poured out four more shot glasses--three for the others, and one for himself. He distributed them, before raising his up in the air. “Cheers!”

A jolly ‘cheers!’ commenced, followed by glasses to mouths and scrunched-up faces, particularly on the parts of Varian and Rapunzel.

“Lightweights,” Eugene teased under his breath. 

“Okay, everybody,” Rapunzel interjected, “let’s eat!” She shot a glance at Lance and Eugene. “Birthday girl first.” 

Cassandra served herself a bit of each dish, and the others followed. Cassandra was blown away--you tend to appreciate royalty-level meals after living on the road. The chicken was tender, the steak cooked to perfection, the potatoes whipped and soft, and the peas sweet in her mouth. Before long, plates were filled, then soon cleared--only for some to be filled again, and cleared once more. 

When Cassandra was done, she pushed her plate back and wiped the corners of her mouth with her napkin. “Well, that was fucking amazing. Thanks for putting this together, Raps.” 

“Of course! Are we ready for cake?”

“Mmm, nope. I need some more rum. Lance?” Cassandra tipped her empty shot glass in his direction. 

“Oh, fine,” he laughed, topping her off. “After this, you guys are on your own.”

“Hey, not my fault the rum’s on your side of the table.” She raised the shot to her mouth, and consumed it in one smooth gulp.

Lance grinned sarcastically and pushed the bottle to the middle of the table. “Problem solved!” 

Cassandra shook her head, amused. She noticed Varian reaching for the bottle, and let out a chuckle. “So, you drink now, Varian?”

“Oh.” He poured himself another shot, and raised it to his lips. “Uhhh...sometimes?”

“God, you’re still a child in my head. Stop growing, kid.”

“I can’t. Or I mean, I probably could, given my skill set, but I don’t want to.”

“Oh, trust me, you do. It’s not worth going to those lengths, though.”

“Yeah, no,” Cassandra chuckled, reached for the bottle, and poured another out.

“Slow down, Cass,” warned Eugene. “We’re not walking you back to your room, girly.”

Cassandra rolled her eyes. “Number one, don’t call me that. Number two, I can handle my alcohol, Fitzherbert.”

“Oh, sure you can.”

Cass raised the glass to her mouth and tipped it back. “Try me.”

“Okay, now,” Rapunzel laughed. “Your bickering is endearing, but I think it’s time for cake.”

“Please don’t sing to me,” Cassandra groaned. 

Rapunzel pulled a candle from, it seemed to Cassandra, thin air, and stuck it in the cake. “Oh, we’re singing.” 

Cass examined the cake in closer detail--the base icing was white, highlighted with blue flowers and green leaves around the edge. The middle read simply, “Happy Birthday, Cassandra!”. At this point, the ‘irt’ in ‘Birthday’ had a candle stuck straight through it. 

Rapunzel grabbed a random candle mounted on the wall, and lit the candle that was sat atop the cake. “Okay, everybody ready?”

“No,” Cassandra sighed. “Get on with it.”

“Okay, everybody,” Rapunzel chirped, “let’s go!”

Cassandra felt a deep red blush spread across her cheeks as her friends sang the all-too-familiar song.

“Happy birthday to you,  
Happy birthday to you,  
Happy birthday dear Cassandra,  
Happy birthday to you!” 

“Make a wish, Cass!” 

So, she did. Cassandra closed her eyes, drew in a deep breath, and made a quiet wish in her head--no matter where life was to take her, let her remain always as happy as she was with these people, these friends, in this moment. 

Cassandra blew out her candle.

“Woohoo!” Rapunzel leaned over and poked Cassandra on the nose. “Whatcha wish for?”

“I can’t tell you! It won’t come true.”

“Oh, fine.” Rapunzel reached for the knife, cut out a neat slice of cake, and placed it on a plate, before handing the plate to Cassandra. “It’s Atilla’s,” she winked. 

Cassandra took a bite, and the sweet taste of vanilla topped with buttercream hit her mouth. “Mmm, I love Atilla’s cake.”

“Who doesn’t?” Eugene took a piece of his newly served cake, and shoved it into his mouth. “Mmm. No offense, Cassandra, I know it’s your birthday--but I’m so taking these leftovers.” 

Cassandra shrugged. “Fine by me.” 

“Eugene, can we give her our gift?” 

“If you want, Sunshine.”

“Okay, okay, I do. Hold on a minute, I’ll be right back.” Rapunzel jumped up from the table and ran to the corner of the room, retrieving a medium-sized wrapped box with a bow from the corner. She quickly made her way back to the table and set it in front of Cass. “Okay, go ahead!”

“Okay…” 

Cassandra gingerly removed the wrapping paper and opened the box. Inside were a multitude of small items--a sharp, sheathed dagger, a leather notebook, a quill, a deep red sweater, black tights, and a new pair of boots, Cassandra’s old spirit bracelet, and two neatly folded, painted paper cards. Cassandra removed the cards and examined them--on the cover of one was a painting of Cassandra, Rapunzel and Eugene, and on the other, a painting of all five present in the room. She unfolded the one with just the three of them on the front, and read the inside.

“Cassandra,

Happy birthday! I hope you’ve enjoyed your birthday, and like these gifts. Whether you stay or go, these are pieces of us you can keep with you. We love you!

Raps and Eugene.”

With a smile on her face, she opened the other card.

“This one’s just so that you have a picture of all of us together. I hope you like it!

Raps.”

Cassandra leaned over and embraced Rapunzel. “Thank you, Raps. You too, Eugene. I love it.”

“I’m glad you do,” Eugene shrugged, “but Rapunzel deserves all the credit.”

“Oh, I know,” Cassandra laughed. “I’m just being polite. Seriously, I love it.”

“Okay, me next!” Varian pulled out a small pouch from his pocket. “Here you go, Cassie.”

Cassandra opened the pouch, and peeked inside to see an array of colorful crystals and gems. There was, of course, a few pieces of Cassandrium, some small green gems, a large chunk of deep blue crystal, and a large clear, polished gem. 

“I’ve found these in my work around Corona. Well, except the Cassandrium, of course. I know it’s not much, but…”

“Hey, I love it. They’re beautiful. When I go back out on the road, I’ll have even more of Corona to take with me.”

“Uhhh, I got you a bag of candy,” Lance interrupted. He pulled out a familiar bag, one from Monty’s Sweet Shoppe, and slid it across the table to Cassandra. “Thank me later.”

“I’ll thank you now, or I’ll forget.” Cass let out a chuckle. “Thanks, Lance.” 

“I’m sorry to say it, you guys, but this princess is tired out. Anyone else?”

“Uh, ditto,” responded Eugene.

“You guys are lame.” Varian reached for another shot. “I don’t sleep.”

“Well, you probably should,” Rapunzel laughed. 

“Mmm,” Cassandra shrugged, “I’m a little drained. One more shot for me, and I’m out.”

“Oh, fine. I’ll leave too.” Lance reached for the rum, and emptied a little into his shot glass. “Another round for everyone.” He slid the bottle to Cass, who slid it to Rapunzel, who, in turn, slid it to Eugene. Once everyone’s glass was filled, Cassandra raised the rim to her mouth. 

“Cheers.”

“Cheers!”

Soon, each glass was emptied, and the table was surrounded by a tipsy, droopy eyed crew. 

“I’m going to bed,” Eugene declared, standing up from the table. He moved in Cassandra’s direction and gave her a teasing pat on the head. “Happy birthday, Cass. Goodnight, everyone.”

“Night.”

“Night.”

“Night, Fitzherbert.”

“I’ll be up soon, dear, I’m going to walk Cass back to her room.”

Lance stood up from the table as well, followed quickly by Varian. 

“I guess this is our cue, Cassie.” Varian moved to the other side of the table, and gave Cass a quick hug, before making his way to the doors. “Happy birthday, Cass. Goodnight.”

“Night, kid.”

“I’m out too, Cass,” Lance sighed, eyeing the bottle of rum, before ultimately drifting towards the tall doors. “The girls have probably destroyed the house by now. Either that, or they’ve cleaned the entire thing. It’s a guessing game with those two.”

“Well, good luck,” Cassandra laughed. “Night, Lance.”

“Night, Cass.” 

Before she knew it, Cassandra was alone with Rapunzel. She slumped forward, leaned on her hand, and picked a frosting flower from the side of the cake.

“Thank you, Raps,” she smiled, placing the flower in her mouth. “Tonight was fun.”

“I knew you’d like it,” Rapunzel winked. “Ready for bed?”

“Mmm, yeah, or to get back to my room, at least.”

“Let’s get going, then. I’m worn out.” 

Cassandra placed the bag of gems and the bag of candy in the box with the rest of her presents, before heaving it up to carry it. Rapunzel grabbed a candle to light the way, and the two made their way back to Cassandra’s room in a pleasant silence. 

“Well, Cass, this is your stop!” Rapunzel leaned over and swung the door open. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you for everything today, Raps.”

“Hey, there’s no need to thank me. It’s nice to have you home.”

“It’s nice to be home. Goodnight, Rapunzel.”

“Goodnight, Cassandra.”


	2. Day 2: Bravery (or, A Rescue)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dayyyy two! I hope y'all enjoy. If you'd like to, please let me know what you think, and thank you for reading! Much love <3

It was a miserable night. 

Thick, cold fog blanketed the road Cassandra and Fidella were attempting to navigate their way along, and even earlier in daytime, the clouds had hung heavy, gray and low. Trees on either side of the path stood tall and foreboding, like stoic giants guarding a valuable treasure. Harsh winds blew to and fro, echoing like banshee screams, causing the branches of the trees to shiver and shaking Cassandra down to her core. She had to find somewhere to set up camp for the night and, if she could with the damp foliage around her, start a fire. 

A shiver ran down Cassandra’s spine as a bat swooped across the path in front of her, too close for comfort to her face. “God, Fidella, it’s fucking creepy tonight, isn’t it? We need to find somewhere to camp out.” 

Fidella knickered, seemingly in agreement. They made their way along the cold, muddy trail a bit further before the horse suddenly stopped in her tracks.

“What is it, girl?”

Fidella took two cautious steps back, and a shrill, ear-piercing scream cut through the air.

“Help! Somebody help me, please!” 

The plea had come from not too far up the road--she could almost make out two shadowy figures, maybe fifty feet in the distance. A heavy pang hit Cassandra’s stomach, and she jumped off of her horse’s back. She took off the satchel with all of her valuables and tossed it around Fidella’s neck. Then, almost mindlessly, she unsheathed her sword from its scabbard on her back and brandished it. 

“Stay here and stay safe,” she whispered to Fidella. “I’ll be back in a moment.”

Silently, with all the stealth and courage she could muster, Cassandra crept up the trail. Even in the dark night, with every step Cassandra took, the figures became clearer. When she was about fifteen feet away, she could make the scene out completely--there was a woman, most likely a traveler like herself, and a menacing man had her pinned up to a tree. It was clear she had tried to defend herself--a dagger was tossed from the scene, now near Cassandra’s feet. The man had a knife to her throat, and with his free hand, was currently digging through what Cassandra could only assume were her belongings. 

Cassandra’s heart jumped to her throat. What was she doing? This wasn’t her business. She should just turn around and hide in the brush with Fidella…

But she couldn’t. 

Instead, Cassandra snuck up behind the man, put her sword to his neck, and kneed him in the groin, causing him to groan and drop the comparatively small knife he had brandished at the woman’s throat. Cassandra kicked it far enough away that he wouldn’t be able to get it, and quickly patted his sides to find any other weapons. She found one other dagger tucked in the waistband of his pants, and tossed it towards the other two knives. 

“Move an inch without my permission and I slit your fucking throat.” Cassandra turned her attention to the doe-eyed woman against the tree. “Don’t worry. You’re going to be fine. Now, remove your hand from her bag.” 

The man obliged, but Cassandra noticed he kept something grasped in his hand. She pressed the sword harder against the man’s skin.

“All of it.”

“Christ, okay, okay. As long as you promise not to kill me.”

“We’re not there yet. Put it back.” She paused in expectation, and the man did what he was told. “Did he get anything off of you yet?” 

“N-no, I don’t think so.” 

“Okay. Back up.” With the sword still to the man’s gullet, Cass took six paces back, and took the man with her. By the sixth pace, they had crossed the width of the trail. “Hands up.” 

“Are you gonna kill me, lady?”

“No. I’m not a criminal like you. Unless you try to harm me first, of course, in which case I will readily and easily end your miserable life. Now, put your fucking hands up.”

The man complied with her request. 

“Okay. Now, I’m going to let you go, and you are going to run as fast as you can, and as far as you can, up the trail. If you try to mess with us again, it’s not going to be pretty.”

“Jeez, just let me go already! What about my weapons? It’s dangerous out here.”

“I’ll let you go, but you’re not getting your weapons back. The only reason it’s dangerous out here is because of people like you and, heavens forbid you get robbed, that sounds like comeuppance to me! Honestly, you’d ought to get a job. Then--get this--you can buy a knife! I’ve been living on the road a year and a half, and not once have I stolen anything. Seriously, it’s not that hard. Reflect on yourself.” Cassandra removed the sword from the man’s neck, shoved him away from her, and brandished it in front of her. “Bye bye.”

The man took one horrified glance at Cassandra, and sprinted into the distance.

“That...was...badass.” The woman whom Cassandra had aided stared at her, slack-jawed, from across the trail. “Thank you, seriously. Who knows what could’ve happened to me? Getting robbed was the least of my worries.”

“I know.” Cassandra paused. “Are you hurt?”

“Oh...not too bad.”

“Not too bad?” 

“Um...yes. He got me in the arm with his knife, though. I don’t know if it was purposeful or not.”

Cassandra crossed the trail so she was close to the other woman, and reached out her hand. “Let me see.” 

The woman obliged, stretching her arm forward. There was a deep, long gash in her upper forearm, and it was bleeding steadily--the blood dripped down to her wrist. Cassandra glanced up at the woman and raised an eyebrow. 

“Not too bad, huh?”

“Oh.” The woman looked down sheepishly. “It wasn’t as bad when I looked at it earlier, before you, uh, scared him away. I’ll be fine, though.”

“What’s your name?”

“Um--Louise.” 

“Louise. I’m Clara.” Cassandra never gave her real name while she was travelling. “Come with me, I’ll get you cleaned up.” 

“Oh, really, it’s fine.” 

“No, it’s not. Come with me.”

“Okay…” 

After they had gathered the fallen knives, Louise followed Cassandra back to the segment of the trail where Fidella was waiting, in silence. “Louise, this is Fidella. Fidella, Louise.”

“Hi, Fidella. She’s beautiful.”

Cass cracked a wide grin. “She’s a good horse. I was going to look a little further to set up camp, but actually, I think this clearing by the road will do, and we have an injury to attend to. We’ll go sit on the ground over there.” Cassandra pointed to the sort of clearing in the forest beside her, a bare patch of ground just beyond the first few trees. “Come on, Fidella.”

When the three of them had made their way to the patch of empty land, Cassandra instructed Louise to sit down and began to rummage through Fidella’s sidebag. She pulled out a clean shirt, some bandages, and one of her canteens. Silently, she made her way over to Louise and plopped down next to her. Using her dagger, Cassandra began to cut the fabric of the shirt into neat strips.

“Oh, please--don’t do that.”

“It’s fine. I can buy another.” 

When Cassandra had finished cutting the strips, Cassandra took one in her hand, and wet it thoroughly using the canteen. “Give me your arm. I’m sorry if this stings.” 

Lousie reached her arm out, and Cassandra took it, gingerly beginning to wipe at the now semi dried blood. 

“So, what’s your deal?”

“Hm?” Cassandra glanced up at the woman whose wound she was tending. “What’s my deal?”

“Yeah. Most people wouldn’t have stopped to help me. Why risk your life?”

“Oh.” Cassandra paused and contemplated an answer, not wanting to give up too much of her life. She began to clean the actual wound, and Louise winced. “I’m sorry. Well, I guess all I can say is I couldn’t leave you there, to be attacked.”

“But you could have died, too.”

Cassandra shrugged. “Maybe. But I’ve cheated death before, and I trust my combat skills.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.” Cassandra had finished cleaning the wound, and began to wrap Louise’s arm in the shirt scraps. “What’s your deal?”

“Me? What do you mean, exactly?”

“Well, you’re on a shady road late at night, alone, just like me. So, there’s obviously a reason.” 

“Oh. I couldn’t stay home, and I really don’t want to say much more.”

“I get it, trust me. Me too, and that’s about as much as I’m comfortable saying.”

“Well,” Louise grinned, “we’re on the same page. That’s good to hear.” 

Cassandra, finished with the shirts, began to wrap the bandage about Louise’s arm. “Yeah.” 

“Hey. Thanks for saving me.” 

“Don’t mention it.” Cassandra released the other woman’s arm. “I’m done.”

“So…”

“So?”

“Is this my cue?” 

“Oh.” Cassandra paused. “Not necessarily. If you want to, by all means, leave. But you can stay if you please.”

“Where are you headed?”

“Nowhere in particular.” 

“Just a nomad?” 

“I guess you could say that.” 

Cassandra glanced up at the other woman’s face, actually taking in her features for the first time. She was fair, slender-faced, and freckled, and her bright blonde hair fell about her shoulders in tight ringlets. Her eyes were a dark color, most likely brown, although the specific color was hard to make out with the absence of light. 

“What are you looking at?”

“Nothing. Sorry.”

“Hey, I’m just kidding. Lighten up.” 

“Right.” Cassandra stood up. “I’m going to try to find some firewood.”

After fifteen minutes of searching, Cass was able to find a few leaves, twigs and branches that were dry enough to facilitate a fire. She found her way back to the make-shift camp, searched through her satchel for her flint and steel, and began to build. 

“Well, if you’ll be staying the night, it’s probably safer if we take turns looking out. I’ll take the first watch, you get some rest.” 

“It’s not necessary, really. Let me take the watch.” 

“No, sleep. Really.” Cassandra perfected the fire structure--the large branches leaned up against each other, and beneath them was a pile of flammable leaves and other tinder.

“I mean...if you insist.” 

Cassandra struck her flint and steel together, grinding them until the spark caught. She watched as the fire slowly grew, starting with one leaf before spreading to the others, and then the sticks, and then the larger branches.

“I do. You need to rest, with that arm. We’ll find a village for you to heal in tomorrow. By the way, are you travelling on foot? I didn’t notice a horse with you.”

“I had a horse, but…”

“Oh. No need to say any more.” Cassandra paused. “We can both ride Fidella until I find you somewhere safe, or you can ride, and I’ll walk.”

“Why do you care so much?”

“What?”

“About me. I’m still perplexed. Most people wouldn’t have saved me, let alone gone to the lengths you have. Why?”

Cassandra stared at the fire, and grit her teeth. “Let’s just say, I’m serving my penance.” 

"Okay." Louise paused, and laid down on the ground, using her bag as a pillow. "Goodnight, Clara."

"Goodnight, Louise."


	3. Day 3: Underrated (Or, The Scroll)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello hello, party people! Here's my one-shot for day 3, underrated. Would you guys like it if I explored Cassandra's childhood a bit deeper in a full-fledged fic? It probably wouldn't be as long as New Beginnings will be by the end (I still have tens of thousands of words to go over there). Anyway, I hope you enjoy--please let me know what you think! Much love <3

Cassandra held the tightly-rolled scroll close to her chest, and made her way through the wide, pale hallways of the castle. Her father had, once again, sent her off to the throne room with a message for the King and Queen. 

“You need to learn responsibility, Cassandra,” he’d say whenever he had a job for her, stooping down to be at eye-level and laying a hand on her shoulder. “The King and Queen are good people. They were generous enough to allow me to take you in and raise you in their castle, and one day you’ll repay that debt through servitude. For now, though, the Queen especially wants you to have a happy girlhood. That doesn’t change the fact that, come a day not too far along, you will begin to aid the other servants around the castle. You must learn how to interact with those you will soon serve. Do you understand, Cassandra?” 

Cassandra would nod her head. “Yes, Father.”

“Good.” He’d hand her the scroll, tell her to mind her behavior, and send her on her way. 

And so, she went--every time, her legs carrying her almost aimlessly along the route she’d taken so often, and her mind wandering to be anywhere other than where she physically was. Cassandra was young, but she’d understood--and detested--her place in society for as long as she could remember. Books were her best friends, and she’d often read fantastical tales of endangered princesses saved by noble knights. Although enthralled in the story for its duration, when she’d finish and close the novel, she was always left with a depressing, heavy feeling in her chest. Cassandra understood that her destiny was not to be the starring damsel in distress, nor the headlining knight in shining armor, but rather, she was relegated to the role of the servant who served the victory dinner. This simple fact of life left Cassandra with an ache to be more, a deep, unshakable yearning to surpass her station. It was a silly fantasy. She could never grow to be more than the role she was destined to, and she understood that. 

In fact, despite being a girl of just nine, Cassandra had already managed to wrap her head around many of life’s truths. She understood the implications and division of status, the importance of wealth--or lack thereof. She understood that people were greedy, cold, and selfish, and that many would do unthinkable things to get by, or even just for fun. She understood that she would have to work to earn her keep, and that she wasn’t entitled to anything. She understood that her birth parents--whoever they were--did not want her, or love her, and that she was fortunate for her father finding her and taking her in. She understood that the world was a cruel, unforgiving, harsh place and that, despite her dissatisfaction with the status she’d been born to, she was most certainly one of the luckier ones. 

Cassandra also understood that, despite all of the darkness and despair that clouded the world and her young mind, there was some light. The brightest light, for Cassandra, came in the form of Queen Arianna of Corona. The Queen was so very good to her. Not only had she allowed for Cassandra to be raised here and generously provided the necessities to facilitate her upbringing, she often treated the child to sweets or motherly pats on the head. Although she knew it could never be true, Cassandra liked to daydream of a world in which Arianna was her mother. Despite being her Queen, and despite the levels of class between them, Arianna was the closest thing Cassandra had ever had to a motherly figure who actually cared for her.

Cassandra could clearly recall the first time she met the Queen. It was the same night that she’d been found by her father. He brought her back to the castle with him, and instructed her to wait for him outside of a tall, wide set of doors. Although she didn’t quite understand what was going on, it was clear to her that it wasn’t any good. 

After he’d entered the room and shut the doors, Cassandra pressed her ears up to them, and could just barely make out some phrases and mutterings of conversation through the thick, dark wood.

“Your Highnesses, I’m sorry we couldn’t...she cut the bridge and ran...we’ll search…”

“How could you let...we trusted you...my child…”

“Frederic, stop...tried his best...our most trusted soldier…”

“I know, Arianna...forgive me…heart is broken...” 

“We’ll never...until we find her…however, we did...a child…”

“You what…”

“I humbly request your permission to...as my own…”

“Bring her…”

And, suddenly, footsteps towards the door. Cassandra jumped back and leaned up against the wall, pretending that she had never been listening in the first place. 

The door swung open, and the man that rescued her--who Cassandra would soon know as Dad--stepped out. He reached down towards her and scooped her up off the ground.

“Sweetie, some friends of mine would like to meet you. They are very important people, and something bad has just happened to them. Please, be on your best behavior.”

“Um…” Cassandra wiggled, attempting to get free. “I want Mommy.” 

“I’m sorry, dear.” The man averted his eyes from Cassandra. “You’re not going to see your mother ever again.”

Cassandra’s lip began to quiver, and tears welled in her eyes. In response, the man cradling her gave her an affectionate pat on the head.

“Don’t cry, little one,” he soothed. “I’m going to make sure you’re taken care of. There is no need to worry.”

“But, Mommy…”

“I know, but you’ll be taken care of. Please, just don’t cry when I take you in there. Okay?” 

Cassandra wrapped her arms around the man’s neck and hugged him tight. “Okay.”

She felt the movement underneath her as the two made their way into the mysterious room. Within seconds, the movement had stopped. 

“Here she is.” The man gave her a pat on the back. “Will you look up for me, sweetie?”

Slowly, Cassandra loosened her grip from the man’s neck, and shifted her gaze towards the direction that he was looking in. Her eyes met with two people sitting in huge, regal chairs--a man and a woman. They were wearing the finest clothes she had ever seen, and the room was as fancy and large as the rest of the castle, but Cassandra could tell that something was very wrong. They looked tired and defeated, their eyes puffy, and cheeks crusted with the salty residue of tears. The man was slumped forward, head in his hands and leg jumping up and down restlessly. The woman simply sat back in her chair, gazing off into the distance with a melancholy look. When her green eyes met with Cassandra’s, though, she managed a weak smile.

“Hello, dear.” The green-eyed woman then addressed her words to the man holding Cassandra. “Where did you say you found her again?”

“At the house where, er…”

The woman nodded her head. “Okay. You needn’t say more in front of such sensitive ears.”

Suddenly, the hunched over, stressed-looking man spoke. “Couldn’t you take her to an orphanage, Captain?”

“Frederic.” The woman swatted at his shoulder. “I know you’re upset, but don’t be so cruel. Look at her! She’s but an innocent babe. If the Captain wants to take her in, we should let him.” 

The man raised his gaze from the table, and when his eyes met with Cassandra’s, they softened. “Oh, you’re right, Arianna. She’s just a child.” He paused, and returned his gaze to the table. “Captain, if you wish to take the child as your ward, you may.”

“Thank you, Your Highness. I’ll get her some food and put her to sleep, and as soon as I’m finished, I’ll rejoin the search. Rest assured, my men are scouring every nook and cranny tirelessly, sir.”

“Very well.”

“Before you go,” the woman interrupted, “may I hold her?”

“If you wish, Your Majesty.”

“Please. I do.”

With that, Cassandra was placed in the lap of the green-eyed woman. Her face was grief ridden, struck with melancholy, and yet she smiled, and was tender and gentle. She reached out a hand, and stroked the child’s hair.

“Hello, dear. My name is Arianna.”

“Ar...Ar-yanna,” Cassandra repeated.

“That’s right. What’s yours?” The woman cupped Cassandra’s face in her hands. 

“Cassandra.”

“You’re a beautiful child, do you know that, Cassandra? The nice man who brought you here is going to take good care of you. You’re going to live here with him. We will make sure you are fed, clothed, have a good education, have toys to play with and books to read. Does that sound good?”

“Okay. But whaddabout Mommy?”

“Oh, dear.” The woman pulled Cassandra into an embrace, and Cassandra could feel her chest silently heaving. She spoke with pain in her voice. “It’d do you best to completely forget of that dreadful, dreadful woman.” 

Cassandra had, in fact, forgotten her mother. Who she was, her features, anything about the woman that Cass had once known was pushed deep to the recesses of her mind. From that day on, she came to know the man who had saved her as Dad, the worrisome man as King Frederic, and the sad, green-eyed woman as Queen Arianna. 

That night was the first and last time that Queen Arianna had hugged her, but to this day, the Queen was just as kind and caring towards her.

Suddenly, a voice pulled Cassandra from her thoughts. 

“Yoohoo, kid! Another scroll from the boss?”

Jostled, Cassandra looked up, and realized she had drifted so far in her memories that she’d walked right past the throne room.

“Oh. Yes.” She turned around sheepishly and made her way to the doors of the throne room. The guard who had addressed her, William, swung the door open for her.

“The Queen is in there. You know she loves your visits,” he winked.

A smile came across Cassandra’s face. “Thanks, Will.” With that, she made her way into the throne room. Arianna was, in fact, perched in her throne, apparently reviewing some court documents. Cassandra silently made her way up the long carpet, and stopped just before the stairs that led up to where Arianna was sat. She bowed towards the throne, clutching the scroll to her chest, until she was addressed by the Queen.

“Your Majesty,” Nigel, the royal advisor, interjected after a few seconds of silence. “It would appear you have a visitor.”

“Oh! Cassandra. Thank you, Nigel. Hello, dear.”

Cassandra straightened out her back and smiled. “Hello, Your Majesty. I come bearing another message from my father.”

“Oh, good. I’m sorry, I didn’t see you for a moment. Nigel, if you will?”

Silently, Nigel descended from his position next to the throne, and retrieved the scroll from Cassandra’s hands. 

“Thank you, Nigel,” Arianna smiled, as she was handed the scroll. She tucked it neatly into her lap. “I’ll get back to work in a moment. It’s been a while since your father has sent you here. You’re not getting into trouble, are you, Cassandra?”

Cassandra’s cheeks flushed red. “Oh, no, Your Majesty, I--”

Arianna let out a light chuckle. “I’m only making fun, dear. You’re a good child, that much I know. Have you been alright?”

Cassandra nodded her head. “Yes, thank you, Your Majesty. I am truly indebted to you for all that you do for me. I hope that you have been good.” 

“Oh, don’t mention it. I’m as good as I can be.” Arianna turned her attention to Nigel. “Nigel, do you know where that pesky bag of candy got to? Why don’t you give the child a treat or two?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” Once more, Nigel descended the steps, and placed two pieces of neatly-wrapped candy in Cassandra’s hand.

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” Cassandra bowed slightly.

“You’re welcome. It’s always a pleasure to see you.” Arianna gazed at Cassandra for a moment, before glancing down at the floor. “You’re growing up so fast.” Her voice shifted, suddenly betraying a hint of sadness. “How long have you been with us now, Cassandra?”

“Almost five years,” Cassandra replied. 

“Five. That’s a long time.” Arianna paused. “How has your training with the guards been going?”

“Very well, thank you. I’ve been enjoying it a lot. I’m blessed to have such an opportunity.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” A gentle smile spread over Arianna’s face. “Well, darling, I’d love to chat for longer, but I’m a busy woman.”

“Of course, Your Majesty. I’m sorry if I intruded.”

“Oh, no! Don’t be silly, you’re perfectly fine. It was good to see you, and please send your father my regards.”

“Of course, Your Majesty. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Cassandra.” 

With that, Arianna shifted her gaze back down towards her paperwork, and Cassandra made her way back to the halls. A heavy feeling clouded Cassandra’s head as she made her way back towards her father’s office, which doubled as her school space. She wished so deeply that she could spend more time with the Queen, that they could bond like mother and daughter. Cassandra sighed, and forced the thought to the back of her head.

No use in dreams that will never come true.


	4. Day 4: Moonsandra (Or, I'll Shed No Tears)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This is a little late but here's my one-shot for day 4: moonsandra. This is actually a one-shot that I wrote a while back so you may have seen it on cassandra-tangled on Tumblr already. I was going to do a rewrite or write something new entirely but I sprained my ankle really bad today and the doctor's took up all my free time that I'm not working. So, this is pretty much just verbatim. Context is it takes place after Once a Handmaiden, and I wrote this right after its premiere. Okay! I hope y'all enjoy. Much love <3

Cassandra sat upon her new throne, looking around and taking in all the damage she had caused. Black rocks, the symbol of her newfound power, sprouted from the floor of the throne room like flowers breaking through the soil at the first sign of spring.

She should be happy.

After all, isn't this what she had wanted? Isn't this what she had yearned for? The fall of her enemies--the fall of Corona.

She could hardly remember life before her dad, before the castle. Bits and pieces of lost memories had come flooding back, memories of her time living in that cottage with her mother. Still, though, the most she could conjure up were blurry pictures, bits and pieces of conversations, and an unshakable feeling of being nothing but unwanted.

She wished her mother had loved her. She wished her mother was anything but what she was--a selfish, dark minded woman who cared for no one but herself. As she sat upon her throne in darkness, she couldn't help but wonder if she was becoming her mother herself. But at this point, why did it matter? What did she have left to lose? The person she cared about most in this world, Rapunzel...had allowed for a weapon designed to kill her to be created. She had already pushed her to the edge. She had already lost everything she ever had, so what was the point in looking back now? She couldn't look back now, no matter how much she wanted to. Today had proven that it was far too late.

She wished it could be different. She missed Rapunzel--oh god, did she miss Rapunzel. Her bubbly personality, that adorable smile, her ability to twist any negative situation into something much better than what it was. She missed the hours they spent alone in Rapunzel's room before they'd left Corona, talking to one another, sharing laughter and jokes. She missed their adventures together, too, before they had gone sour. In retrospect, she was starting to regret everything she had done. She was starting to regret every time she'd taken her jealousy out on Rapunzel and Eugene.

Now that Cass knew she was being manipulated by Zhan Tiri, her life felt like nothing but one big lie. She had turned her back on her friends, and the love of her life, and for what? She had destroyed Corona, her home, and for what? These people weren't truly her enemies. Her only enemy, she realized, was herself.

Cass felt tears rolling down her face.

She had promised herself that she would shed no tears, that she would keep a level head and finish what she'd started. But here, surrounded by the destruction she'd caused, she felt nothing but emptiness. The tears started slowly at first, dripping down her cheeks and onto her chin. Pressure built in her throat, until she was unable to contain it anymore. She let out one sob after another, her tears dropping to the floor as she took in the full magnitude of what she'd done.

Everything she'd ever had was lost. Before, maybe she was always second best, maybe she was never truly happy, but she had one thing: she had Rapunzel. How could she let that slip through her fingers? How had she let her jealousy and rage build up and boil over? And by God, was any of this even worth it?

Cassandra was left with nothing but the cold hard truth: No. It wasn't.

Before, she hadn't had everything. She worked tirelessly her whole life for no recognition. But now, she had nothing. No friends. No family. No one who cared about her. Nothing, nothing but an empty, broken castle she had destroyed in her rage. She may have had the recognition she always yearned for, but it was in infamy. People were scared of her. Her friends, her father, her love, her king, her queen, the citizens of Corona...they were all scared of her. And could she blame them? Could she blame them? She couldn't.

She had no clue what was next to come--but she dug her own grave, and she had to lie in it. What would she do if they came back to fight her? She didn't want to hurt them anymore...but they wanted to hurt her. She knew there was no chance of redemption for her--not now. She had realized far too late that everything she had done was wrong. They were already out to kill her.

So, she decided, she would hold her own.

She wiped the now semi-dry tears from her cheeks, taking in the cold, empty darkness around her. Taking in a deep breath, she collected her thoughts and emotions. She didn't want to be the bad guy, she didn't want to. In her heart, this was not who she was. But now, it was who she had to be.


	5. Day 5: Happiness (Or, Dear Journal)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So, I don't usually write in first person, but I wanted to ~experiment~, so I did for this one shot. I hope it's good, and I hope that y'all enjoy! As always, thank you for reading and much love <3

~~Dear Diary,~~

Dear Journal,

Wow. This is really not my speed.

So, a journal. I don’t really know what to write, I’m not a...journal-ly person. Raps is, sure, but not me. This stupid, leather-bound book was a birthday gift from her, though, so I want to make sure I use it.

Not that Raps would ever snoop into my private life (at least not intrusively enough to read this) but if she did, I hope that last part wouldn’t hurt her feelings. I love the gift, really. It’s only stupid because it’s frusturating me that I don’t know what to write.

I guess I can start with where I got this journal. Like I said, it was a birthday gift from Raps. My birthday was a little under a week ago, now. I didn’t even know it was my birthday, but I turned twenty-eight. I feel old. Raps threw me a dinner. There was good food, cake, and alcohol. I fucking hate parties, but I love my friends, and it was only the five of us. Raps and Eugene got me this book, and a quill, and a knife, and some clothes and other fun things. It was really sweet of them, honestly. They didn’t need to get me anything, I wouldn’t have known the difference. Varian got me a bag of rocks, basically. Wait, that made me sound ungrateful. They’re beautiful rocks, and it was a cute gift. Or are they stones? Or gems?? Or crystals?? Fuck, I’m not a rock expert. But whatever they are, they’re pretty, and he found them all around the kingdom. It’ll be like having Corona with me when I leave again. Oh, and Lance got me a bag of Monty’s candy. Score.

So, I don’t really know what to use this for. I guess if I go back on the road I can...write or doodle in here like Raps did when we were younger. I mean, I’ll probably write, if anything. She’s all about doodles. I wonder how many notebooks she’s filled up by now.

When I asked her what she thought I should do with the journal yesterday, she told me to write about the things that make me happy. That’s a good place to start, I suppose. I’m not her, though. She could probably write a novel and a half on what makes her happy--but not me. Most things make me angry, and I could probably write a novel on that. Screaming children make me angry, although they’re cute when they’re quiet. Parties and social interaction make me angry. People who pronounce ‘vase’ as ‘vayhse’ make me angry (it’s ‘vahz’). Being awake makes me angry. Being asleep makes me angry. Freeloaders and thieves make me angry--reformed ones are okay, though. Most people make me angry. Especially Fitzherbert. Don’t get me wrong, I love him...sometimes.

But I’m supposed to be talking about things that make me happy. Honestly, I’m hard pressed to think of many, but I can think of some.

My weapons make me happy. I could stare at them for hours, in all honesty--I have so many (thanks Dad), and they’re all beautiful. I love polishing them, and admiring them, and of course...using them. Not in a creepy killer way or anything. Dueling is just really, really fun, and let me just say--I’ve made good use of my Fitzherbert sparring dummy since coming home.

My favorite weapon is my halberd. I keep it well cared for, sharp, polished, and shiny. It was the first weapon Dad gave me, for my eighth birthday. At that point, it towered over me, but not anymore--I’ve had it twenty years now, and it’s rather proportionate. I mean, it’s taller than me because it’s supposed to be, but seriously...watching eight year old me trudge around with it was probably a sight to see. Anyway, he chose it as my first weapon because it’s the weapon of choice for Corona’s guard. I was eight when he started really training me with them. Before, I’d sat on the sidelines and watched, but by eight, I was a full-fledged trainee. People thought he was crazy for raising his daughter to be a guard from such a young age, but I’m glad for it. I wouldn’t be able to protect myself otherwise.

I love all my weapons, though. I couldn’t take my halberd with me on the road, so I took two of my daggers and my favorite sword instead. Oh, how I wanted to take my mace, but it was too heavy to justify. My favorite dagger, I’ve had since I was sixteen. I had a few before it, but my favorite one is absolutely beautiful. It’s probably the most valuable thing that I own. It was a gift, too, a blade carved of steel and the handle of beautiful gold. It’s badass--the handle is carved into this weird...I don’t know, dragon? Lizard? Sea serpent? Whatever it is, it looks cool, and my name is engraved on the blade. The sheath is encrusted with small gems. It’s not from my dad, but from an ‘anonymous castle staff’ or something who leaves me gifts every year. I don’t know why they bother or how they afford it, but I love it. It’s not the most practical, because of the handle, it’s more ornamental. I don’t usually use it in sparring or fights. I didn’t bring it on the road with me, as much as it pained me to leave it home, because of its obvious, glaring value. So, it was nice to see it again when I got back here.

Hmm...I’ve been talking about my weapons for a while. What else makes me happy?

Books. I love books. I grew up with them as, well, my best friends. I was privileged enough to be educated, and educated well. I was reading fluently by the time I was six or seven, and when I wasn’t training, working or otherwise helping my father, you could be sure to find my nose buried in a book. One of the biggest perks of growing up in a castle is the library. I mean, usually, servants can read the book if they please and are able, but aren’t allowed to take the books out with them, or anything like that. I guess Queen Arianna likes me, because I was allowed. My father said it was a special privilege, since I was a learning child, and she valued the concept of book-smart young girls. Anyway, since I started working, I don’t use the library as much anymore--not because I dislike reading nowadays, but because I buy my own books.

Funny story, here. Growing up, I read a lot of fantasy books, about...you know, damsels in distress and princesses who were saved by handsome knights in shining armor. I used to think that maybe, just maybe, if I trained hard enough, I could be the one to bring the lost princess home, and maybe even… Well, a rogue thief beat me to it. And it wasn’t even on purpose.

Anyway, back to happy--animals make me happy, too. It doesn’t matter what kind, although I am sort of biased towards a certain owl and two particular horses. I don’t know what it is about animals, but despite the fact that they don’t speak our language, they’re a lot more capable of love and empathy than most humans are. There are a lot of great Coronan horses, but two are particularly dear to me. I remember when Max and Fidella were born, actually. They’re pretty close in age, though I think Max is a tad older--he was born when I was fourteen, and she when I was fifteen. Max was fathered by my father’s previous horse, and by the time he was weaned from his mother, it was clear he’d be taking his father’s place as the Captain’s horse. Fidella was actually born to my childhood favorite horse. I learned to ride on her mother, so it seems only appropriate to me that she became the one to accompany me on my journey. Her mother was a beautiful mare named Eliza. Eliza was quite similar to Fidella in color and stature--she certainly takes after her mother, not her father. Eliza was my first equine love, if you will. For a kid without any friends, a faithful horse can fill the gap. We had a lot of fun together, but she got sick and died a year or two after birthing Fidella. It broke me, honestly. Horses can live to thirty years, and she was only twelve at the time of her death.

Right, happy. Oh people, I guess. I mean, as I said before, a lot of people piss me off, but some of them are more than okay. Dad is pretty great, and it’s been nice to be back and see him again. I didn’t appreciate him as much as I should have in my childhood--but then, isn’t that the way it goes? Raps is amazing too, and so is the rest of the gang. I don’t know where I’d be today if it weren’t for their fighting so hard to save me and, honestly, I don’t want to imagine. I’d probably be dead. Despite my...occasional bitterness, especially before, I’ve had some of my best times by their side. Actually, I’ve had nearly all of my best times by their side. Before Rapunzel came back and, well, pretty much forced me to be her friend, I had no one. I’m glad she did. If it weren’t for her, I probably would have died without letting anyone in, without having a single friend outside my father, Owl, my weapons and my books. But Rapunzel is…Rapunzel is impossible to resist. I learned eventually that there was no use in even trying to resist her--and she ended up being the best thing that had ever happened to me. She’s the first person I let in, the reason that I know what it means to be a friend (and how to become one), and the sole reason my friendship extended to Eugene, Lance, and Varian.

I mean...I had some dark times. Some really, really dark times. Happiness was the furthest thing from my mind. Instead, I was enraged, jealous, bitter, cold, and most of all, I was hurting. At that point, if you’d asked me, Rapunzel was the worst thing that had happened to me, even though deep down inside I loved her and cared for her more than I ever would have admitted at that point. I did some bad things, some horrible things. In my greed, in my...selfishness and lust for power, I committed some fucking heinous crimes. I hurt all of the people who were most dear to me. I almost caused the downfall of Corona--and the entire world quite easily could have followed.

Yet still, when it was all said and done, Rapunzel still saw the light in me. Eugene, Lance, Varian, my dad, they all still saw the light in me. Despite all the pain and destruction, despite all the fear and uncertainty and my horrid crimes...they forgave me. They loved me.

I hated myself, and I wanted so badly for them to hate me, too. Maybe it’s what lesser people would have done, or maybe it’s what they should have done. I’m still not quite sure. Either way, they didn’t. They chose the path of forgiveness.

That’s what love is.

Rapunzel likes to say that I was never a bad person, and that I just lost my way. I hope that that is true, but honestly, I have no way of knowing. When I think of that time in my life, I’m detached. The memories are vivid and yet blurred. I don’t see that woman as me. I don’t. I can’t believe what I did, that my own two hands committed such offenses. I see that version of myself as a lost, sad, broken woman, descending further and further down a dangerous, shadowy path that would have ended in nothing but pain and destruction. I’d given up on myself. But my friends? They never gave up on me. They saved me from that.

Whether I was truly bad or just horribly lost is beside the point, because that’s not me anymore. It haunts me every waking moment, but it’s in the past. It hangs permanently in the back of my head, but I try to push it away, to ignore it. I’ve changed drastically. I now realize that I have, and always have had, so much to be grateful for. I still yearn for more. It’s almost as if it’s in my nature. But if it’s destined to come to me, then it will be manifested through my hard work. If it’s not, at least I tried.

Most of the time, for me, happiness is hard to come by. Honestly, it is--even now, even though I realize I have much to be grateful for. It’s not such a bad thing to me, though, because when I do feel happiness...it’s exhilarating. It’s life-altering, and the taste of it sticks to my tongue like Monty’s taffy. When I do feel happiness, it makes all of the pain and all of the suffering that I’ve endured worth it.

So, what is happiness to me?

Happiness...happiness is sharpening my weapons on a rainy Tuesday afternoon. Happiness is curling up by the fire, nose deep within a book, reading like my life depends on it. Happiness is dark, windy, winding roads far from home, and the shiver that runs down your back when you realize, ‘I’m deciding my own destiny’. Happiness is a Coronan stable. Happiness is flying from town to town on horseback, meeting new people. Happiness is hunting with Owl, and sitting by the fire with Fidella. Happiness is a cup of ale, a shot of whiskey, and warm food. Happiness is laughing with friends, and melting into their arms after years apart. Happiness is the fact that you converse as if you hadn’t been away at all. Happiness is taking the horses out to the wall with Raps, and bickering with Eugene. Happiness is helping a greasy-handed Varian with one of his many ambitious projects, or screaming at Lance for eating your lunch. Happiness is having tea with Dad, and the prideful joy on his face when he pulls back from a hug. Happiness is loving, whether things, animals, or people. Happiness is being loved in return.

Most of all, happiness is being alive.

If it’s true that we only get one life, I’m happy that I’ve had the privilege and opportunity to spend mine the way that I have.

Well, I guess that’s all for today. It’s time for this girl to get some rest.

Until next time,

Cassandra


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